Essays from the Edge

So there's this spider...

2009-08-25T03:06:25Z

...who keeps building huge spiderwebs between the hedge in my front yard and my car. I've knocked down a couple of them, once by walking into it while taking out the trash, and once because I, you know, had to use my car. I thought the last spiderweb had been destroyed, as he built it basically on top of my car, and I drove away, thinking he would be blown away and would find another home to build spiderwebs on. But a few minutes ago I went outside, and damned if there's not another huge spiderweb directly between my car and the hedge. Seriously, it's like 2 feet across. And he's just sitting there, in the exact middle of it.

I'm not really scared of spiders. Cockroaches I hate with a vengeance; every time I see one, every molecule in my body screams "kill it kill it KILL IT!!" I'm wary of snakes, I'm not a huge fan of lizards, and I'm scared to death of wasps, bees, and large flying insects regardless of whether they're actually poisonous. (I recently freaked out because of a huge moth.) But spiders don't scare me, I just keep my distance from them and examine them curiously from about two feet away. And they eat mosquitoes, so extra bonus.

And I've gotta give it to this one. He's a tenacious little fucker, to be sure. Not very smart, as he can't manage to create a spiderweb based in a more secure location than a large metal object that moves. Daily. And he can build spiderwebs that are two feet in diameter in a matter of 2-3 hours. (Why do I assume it's a he? I should research that.)

THE POINT: If I were a religious or spiritual person who looked for the meaning in things, I think I would see this as some sort of sign: build a foundation regardless of whether the foundation is solid. Buy a house and quit bitching about the lack of stability in your life; do what you want and roll with the punches. You're strong enough, you're smart enough, and you'll figure it out as it happens, because you always do. Don't be afraid to rebuild, because while failing is scary, never trying is even scarier.

But I'm not. And at the end of the day, it's just a spider.

...Right?

LiveJournal, MySpace, and Facebook: A Personal Investigation

2009-08-25T01:11:02Z

I've been on LiveJournal since 2000. I really like the blog atmosphere, the potential anonymity; you're only as known as you want to be, and should real life come knocking, it's easy enough to change faces. That's kind of an Internet standard anyway, so it's no surprise. But blogs are almost like a conversation; I've got this idea to share, I'm throwing it out there, and people can respond, or not, as they see fit. The community concept provides an easy way to meet like-minded people without having to troll multiple message boards on your lunch break.

MySpace is like that to an extent, but there's more media available, and you have your permanent ideas or media always available on your home page, but your blog is almost secondary. It's more of a digital representation of what you want the Internet to see of yourself; pictures, embedded media, color schemes, extremely involved design, etc. And it's relatively easy to use, for the cheap seats that don't want to mess around with things like style sheets or javascript. I don't see quite as much sense of community there, though.

Facebook is like...I dunno. The Internet on crack. It's got games, blogs, memes, some embedded media, a visually overwhelming (but largely colorless) home page, and Twitter-like status updates that boil conversations down to their very essence, which in turn removes a lot of the flavor. I don't think I have the ADHD required to actually be a Facebook junkie, but I have spent more time there lately. (The iPhone app helps make it a bit more palatable.) You can become a "fan" of something, but I don't see many people having involved conversations about specific topics.

So which do I prefer? Well obviously if it were Facebook, I would have updated my status to "zomg Facebook rules! haha" instead of posting this lengthy comparison here. While I'll probably also post this as a blog entry in my MySpace, I know it won't be read by anyone as far out as you guys. (zomg Canada!) I've consistently fought against the shortening of conceptual communication to netspeak, and I think there should continue to be a centralized place for more involved discourse, even if the subject isn't exactly theoretical physics. :)

I guess my conclusion is rather banal: for each type of communication, there is a medium for it. I plan to stay on LJ, enjoy MySpace, and attempt to be more open-minded toward the natural evolution of the 'net. After all, as fast as technology moves, you gotta keep up. But that doesn't mean I'm going to come up with my own Twitter feed. Not yet, anyway.

SO CLOSE

2009-06-22T05:26:57Z

I don't know how much I've talked about it, but I'm getting my MIS (Masters of Information Systems -- I call it the MBA for IT) from University of Phoenix.

I have an A average. When I graduated with my Bachelors of English, I think my GPA was something like a 2.74. I'm mixed on this; I don't feel I've been through a full Master's program, but I will emerge from this with a brand new degree and a wonderful overview of what it means to work in IT. Now that I've got the overview, I need the details.

So far, my favorite classes have been programming and disaster recovery. They both speak to my need to be in total control of the situation, though why I didn't care for systems analysis I will never know. But I have...call them friends...who maybe can help me get the details down. I want to change jobs, understand more of the meat and potatoes of the computer industry, and get a better grasp of technology. I just don't know where to start.

In other news...I'M GOING TO SEATTLE ZOMG!!! Can you tell I'm excited? This is my celebration for my 30th birthday, even though my actual birthdate is in November. It doesn't even feel real yet, but it's starting to. Especially since I've got an enormous mound of laundry on my stripped bed waiting to be folded and packed. Man. I've gotta sleep, this is some bullshit...

More later :)

--M*

Hey hey hey!

2009-06-19T18:34:10Z

I downloaded the LJ app for iPhone :D So far I can only post from it, but I'm hoping at some point it will provide a broader scope of services. The autotags are nifty :)

Only four and a half more hours of the mind-numbing tedium that is work. And then? SEATTLE BABY!! I am currently taking souvenir requests, so act now, offer ends soon! :)

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

You know...

2009-05-29T04:29:54Z

I have decided that the worst conversation starter in the history of ever is:

"Is that a good book?"

Picture this. I'm sitting outside, on break, on a bench underneath a tree. I've got my nose deep in a paperback, and am apparently oblivious to the fact that you just walked up to me and have been standing there for the past 45 seconds. I'm either really enjoying the book, in which case the question has already been answered, or I'm ignoring you, in which case you shouldn't ask it anyway. And yet you ask, which forces me to break my reverie or my pretense, and answer you in some way that you will find meaningful.

Now, okay, there are exceptions. You're a cute guy, for example, and you think I'm pretty cute too. Or it's a book you've seen at the bookstore, and you want my honest, literary opinion of it, in which case you should probably ask a different question: something like "I've seen that around, does it live up to the hype?" or "How does that compare with his first novel?" or "What's the underlying theme?" (wherein you should also note how far into the book I am, but nicely done anyway). Something that means you're honestly curious about my answer.

But the question "is that a good book?" implies that you are simply trying to start a conversation for the sake of not feeling alone. And if you've ever been in the middle of a really good, focused read, you'll already know the irritation of being interrupted. My suggestion? Unless you're planning on asking me to dinner, pick a different damned bench, and watch the freaking squirrels. It's mating season. They're fascinating. Seriously.

Another one for my readers

2009-05-28T07:38:41Z

I have to highly praise Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. I'm on page 609 of 933, and I've been reading nonstop since 7:30 this evening (note the time of post!). A paragraph to share with you the awesomeness that is this writer:

"When the dancers slowly entered the space, singing love, they stopped as one and stamped their feet. They twirled in place, turning clockwise in perfect unison. Their arms moved with the grace of a swan's neck. Their hands and fingers rolled and swirled like silk scarves sailing the wind. Then suddenly they stamped their feet three times, and the musicians struck up a wild, enravishing rendition of that month's most popular movie song. And with the cheering in every throat around them, the girls danced into a million dreams."

This book is incredible, and I don't say that lightly. The language is...tangible; the images are easy, the plot is complex, and the characters are deep with emotion and personality. When I borrowed this from my friend Kristin, she said it had easily landed within her top five favorite books. It's quickly climbing the ranks of mine, and even the philosophy exposed here counters the Randian muck I waded through in high school.

Give it a read. Tell me what you think.

Crossposting to bibilophiles

And there's more

2009-04-18T04:38:35Z

Rick Perry.

You.

Are.

A.

Dumbass.

I was reading through some posts on various articles discussing Perry's thinly veiled threat that Texas would secede from the union if things don't get better. I spiderwebbed over to an article about State Rep Betty Brown (R) who, in a conversation about voter identification legislation, tried to convince others that Chinese people should change their names so Americans can pronounce them. /boggle

One poster's comment made me laugh, and then immediately after made me sad:

"There's stupid, and then there's Texas stupid."

Can you impeach someone just for being an idiot?

Happy Days

2009-04-05T05:23:40Z

I got myself a new office chair today!

I'd been dealing with my landlord's cast-off office chair for the past six months or so. It was hard, short, uncomfortable, and I hated it -- but it was all I had. I stopped by Best Buy today and found this baby:

Init Mesh Back Executive Office Chair

The online price is $199.99. To be sure, that's what it rang up as. But the sticker said $129.99, and after a short discussion and presentation of said sticker, that's what I paid. Sure, it looks like a 25th-century torture device, but man, is it comfortable! I've been sitting in it on and off for the past six hours (homework, streaming video from network TV sites, various internet experiences) and my butt hasn't fallen asleep yet. I can even curl up in it, utilizing various comfy poses, with impunity. I am, as they say, a happy camper.

There's another one at the Willowbrook Best Buy on 1960 by 249, if anyone's interested. Hope they didn't change the sticker.

And I just can't hide it

2009-03-14T06:56:36Z

I paid to use TurboTax for this year's return (yay, $525!) and, with that, got a free pass for Quicken Online. At this point, I can't say enough about this new thing I've discovered.

In the past, I've had serious trouble with budgeting. I can balance a checkbook, I just don't like to; keeping all my receipts and then entering them has apparently been a serious weakness for me. Quicken Online not only pulls my transactions directly from my bank records, but it recognizes spending patterns and tells me when I'm in danger of overdrafting within a pay period. It recognizes and predicts my regular bills, it is customizable for new expenses, and...well, basically, it tells me within any pay period what I have left after each paycheck for things like sushi and new clothes. :)

For normal people, this would be easy. Figure out bills, subtract them in a timely manner from pay periods, and go from there. But I suck at budgeting; I've tried, several times, and it just isn't in my genes. My bills hit more or less on the same day every month, but I have like 12 automatic debits and a paycheck that hits every two weeks, regardless of timing. Whenever my car payment and rent coincide within the same pay period, I'm basically screwed. But not anymore :) At this point I might actually have enough financial willpower to find some spare change to put in my IRA. That, at least, is the goal.

In less than six months, I plan to have enough to go to PAX 10 and contribute to my eventual retirement. I'm extremely excited about this new control I have over my life, and I plan to extend that even further in the near future. Stay tuned...

chrestomanci @ 2009-03-09T00:47:00

2009-03-09T05:52:00Z

Bored and watching old episodes of My Own Worst Enemy, I come across a scene between the main character and some integral IT guy. The dialog:

IT: [Blah blah blah] We have rules.
Main Guy: Why don't you give me an hour to watch baseball highlights, and I won't tell Mavis that you're playing World of Warcraft on our billion-dollar mainframe.
IT: (shamefaced, he minimizes a huge, expensive-looking window on a Hollywood FBI screen.) Fine.

My first thought on seeing the screen: "Hey, that's one of the best quests in the game!" (To be fair, it was a flying daily. :P)

Wow

2009-02-15T23:14:05Z

Have y'all seen Dollhouse? Joss Whedon, Eliza Dushku strike again. I'm hoping this gets the awesome publicity and corporate credence that Firefly never did.

It's a good goddamn series.

And into the 20th century

2008-09-29T03:18:16Z

So this weekend I bought an iPhone. Say what you will about Apple's monopolistic qualities or the overhype that the iPhone has gotten. I love this thing. I mean seriously. Who needs a man when you've got the internet at your fingertips, anywhere, anytime? 3G, baby, and 16 gigs. That's just plain sexy.

*tears up* It's...so...beautiful...

When you plug an Apple periphery into iTunes, it asks you what you want to name the device. While most people name their cars or boats after women, I noticed that all of my electronics have been given male nominations based in Greek mythology. My hard drives usually go by Chiron, the centaur who was known as a teacher, tutor, and oracle. My last iPod was named Hermes, because it was responsible for shuttling songs between home and work. So when iTunes asked me the name of my new iPhone, I decided on Coeus, the Titan of Intelligence.

It makes sense, I guess, to me. After all, I now have access to whatever internet I need whenever and whyever I need it. The UI is intuitive and the apps are plentiful. I am in love, finally and truly...with a piece of machinery. But given my dating history, maybe that's for the best. :)

What do you name your most awesome computer bits?

Finally...

2008-09-18T06:30:09Z

I have power.

Not Thundercats (HOOOOO!!) power, but actual electricity combined with the DSL of Awesomeness. Let me just say that Ike SUCKED. The storm was nothing. The having to go without AC in a Houston August? FUCK THAT. Let me say that again.

FUCK THAT.

Alright, I'm better now.

I did fine, property-wise. Some fence damage. Jeff (friend first, landlord second, unless I'm late on the rent) stayed with me since, well, he lives on a boat in Kemah, and so he brought his cat and crashed on my couch for a couple nights. It was nice to have the company. When he found out his boat (as well as his Miata) was FINE, he skedaddled, and I can't say's I blame him; I'm not winning any Best Hostess awards. But whatever.

I finally got electricity back tonight. I was reading a book that Crystal loaned to me and all of a sudden the alarm goes off in an unending, unearthly beep. Then I hear whoops and hollers through the open-window screens with no real explanation. I have no idea what's going on until I hear my answering machine start clicking, and then I whoop and holler myself, close all the windows, and turn on the AC. Six days without air conditioning. I think that's a gorram record for me.

Perhaps I should let the University of Phoenix know I'm back online...

...maybe tomorrow. It's late, I'm tired, and there are covers to snuggle under now that I've actually got an ambient temperature of less than 80.

Whoop! Holla!

Now with extra kitteh!

2008-08-19T02:00:43Z

***WARNING*** There is absolutely nothing substantial in this post.

I'm catsitting Slayer Murderface while Chris is in North Carolina for a week, and it's been really fun having another feline in the house. Of course, as usual, Willow is pissed as hell and they have hissing matches every 20 minutes or so. Unlike Willow, though, Slayer is a total attention junkie and is still in the cute, playful kitten phase. (Sometimes it's not so cute -- like when he digs in the catbox and throws all the...lumps...on the floor -- but I still gotta laugh.)

In other news, I realized I've hit my quota for online media. I've got a Livejournal, a MySpace page, and a Facebook, and I can't seem to keep up with any of them satisfactorily. I'm thinking of cutting down, and if I do, it'll be Facebook that gets the hatchet. It's ugly and tedious and extremely annoying.

But we'll see.

I just discovered Hulu! Hulu ROCKS!

HTML as a programming language? Really?

2008-08-02T04:33:10Z

You know I had to include a lolcat. Who do you think I am?

So one of the questions for this week was about the university-provided course notes. A list of "Common Programming Languages" included HTML. Our professor decided to spark the debate: should HTML be on the list of Common Programming Languages alongside C, COBOL, Java, VB, and others? Dear God, he knows not what he says...

My own answer, I think, solved the wrong problem: I said that yes, HTML needed to be on the list, but the list needed to be renamed to "Good Languages to Know." I have since been fervently defending this position against folks who think, for various reasons, that designing a web page is akin to programming. I'm not denigrating web design by ANY means, but HTML is *not* programming. It's HyperText Markup Language, not HyperText Programming Language. It has a syntax, granted, but there aren't any logical arguments to be made; no if/thens, no calculations. In fact, HTML is little else than text formatting, image placement and specs, or "hey, I can't do this, go talk to Flash instead." I've been one of the more outspoken proponents of the concept that no, a markup language is NOT a programming language. I've gotten lots of credit for it, and I'm looking at another 100% for this week's work because of it. (woot!)

And yet there are several people in my class who are just as tenaciously insisting that HTML is a programming language. Responses have ranged from "well, it's parsed line by line by the browser, so it's an interpreted programming language" to "it's too hard to learn so it must be a programming language." WTF? English is hard to learn. I have four years and $20k sunk into it, and I still don't know everything about it. Does that make it a programming language? Not just no, but HELL no. I know English and I understand logic, and I can't program to save my LIFE. In fact, only recently (within the past few years) have programming languages even begun to approach spoken commands; and even then, if you were to go around talking Java, people would look at you funny and stop inviting you to social events.

But, as always, I'm insecure in my opinion, so I seek others'. Commentsplz? :)

Haaaaa!

2008-07-24T04:30:30Z

This is freakin' COOL!

Just, you know. FYI.

Fred's an asshole.

2008-07-23T05:20:41Z

So my company decided to push Fred on us. I think Fred is either an idiot, an asshole, or a retiree with brain damage. But apparently he's the new name in corporate optimism. So, in response to the self-help shlep, I wrote this...

The first time I met a "Frank" was just after I had purchased an "old new house." Located in a questionable area of town, the house had been built in 1989 and was already a "fixer-upper." A first-time homewoner, I'd only been living there for a few days when I heard a knock on my front door. I opened it and saw a mailman standing there.

"'Ere's yershit," he said, and threw my mail in the middle of a puddle. "Wegotta introduce usselves nah 'cuz o' some ss'ole named Fred. Don't like your types, movin' in here and takin' over." He leaned in and glared at me. "Dunfukwitme, you hear? Ah'll cut you."

I was taken aback. I'd been receiving mail for most of my life, but I had never received anything like this kind of an introduction from my postal carrier. I began to wonder if I should buy a dog -- a big one, with sharp teeth.

I replied "I'm a professional speaker. I don't have a real job."

Frank grinned in a way that sent chills up my spine, showing me all four of his rotting chompers. "Course you don't, you rich ss'oles don't, comin' in and buyin' houses 'n...say," he stopped mid-sentence. "You said you's a purfesshunul speaker. You travel mush?"

"I-- uh, I do, and I was meaning to talk to you about that, maybe you could hold my mail --"

"Yeah, sho will," said Frank. "I'll hold i'when I's wipin' muhself wit it!" and he wheezed into a laugh that lasted an uncomfortable 48 seconds. I know. I counted. Finally he coughed himself back into seriousness and his eyes brightened. "How long you gunbe gone fo'?"

"A week at a time or so? Will it be a problem? I can come pick it up at the --"

"You got good 'lectroniks? Puter, widescreen, mebbe? Xbox? Kind o'packages you 'spectin'?" He rummaged around for a pen and finally found a pencil stub in his front pocket. He picked up the driest envelope from my puddle and stood poised, looking at me expectantly. "Fer, uh, postal reckurds n'sheet." Not only was Frank delivering the mail, he was now my UPS carrier, too! I began wondering about those stains around my mailbox that smelled rather like...

Suddenly a thought came to me. "Actually, Frank, I just remembered I have a Mailboxes Etc. account right down the road, so I won't need you to hold my mail. Or come over. Or check my packages. Or even come into my yard," I added, thinking of the mastiff I was going to buy and subsequently name Killer Murderdeath. "But thank you for your diligence."

"Mah what? Ah'll cut you, you sunnuvahoor!" The screams and curses faded as I shut the door. Eventually he got bored, and I thought briefly of the Burb family who had just moved into the house across the street with two small children.

Because of Frank's example, I started sharing my experiences in speeches and seminars across the country. I now have 48% stock shares in MailBoxes Etc. Audiences were enthralled and inspired, and thanks to Frank, I am a self-made millionaire. In a different house. With a mastiff named Killer Murderdeath, but I call him Jojo for short.

Are you a Frank?

OMG!

2008-07-19T23:48:55Z

I'm going to PAX!

I'M GOING TO PAX!

I'm excited. :)

Bwhahahahahahaha!

2008-07-17T02:42:12Z

Joss Whedon + Neil Patrick Harris + Musical.

LOVE IT. (That's an order.)

Clicky for Awesomeness Abounding!

New userpic!

2008-07-11T04:09:25Z

So thanks to cowboyzydeco's recommendations, I started reading manga. I began my journey with Densha Otoko and have moved on to Yotsuba and am enjoying it immensely.

I've always enjoyed the anime I've watched (with the exception of La Blue Girl, because hentai is uberWTF, but Cowboy Bebop rocked imo), and reading from right to left has been an interesting experience for me, especially as a proofreader. I found myself really relating to Yotsuba's crazy silly innocent determination, so I decided to look around for some images...and, well, Yotsuba + cats? Honey, someone's got me pegged. I just have this strange urge to caption it in Impact...

I know I'm still dipping my toe in the immense pool that is Japanese entertainment. But if I'm gonna dabble, I might as well enjoy myself. Right?

Right! XD

I r teh AWESOME

2008-07-05T17:10:47Z

Okay, so the sound card on my computer was borked...I took the sound card out of my old machine (corrupt hard drive, otherwise fine), installed it, played with the settings on my current machine, and...AND IT WORKS!!

It's kinda silly, but I feel all empowered when I go in and play with the guts of my computer and actually *fix* something. Like RRRAARRR!! I RULE! I don't need a MAN to fix it for me; I got it MAH SELF! BOOYAH!

Now I can listen to Pandora while I...oh yeah...do homework. (Buzzkill.)

I get by with a little help from my friends

2008-07-05T15:32:23Z

Man, I had a great time last night. :) Food, fireworks, fun conversation...thanks, Cameron, for hosting the last-minute 4th of July party! I was half-afraid I was going to be stuck sitting around the house listening to other people have fun, and instead I got to see a pretty, pretty fireworks display and hang out with my favorite folks.

Quote of the evening: "Nathan splooged on my MOM!" (I told you I was gonna put it here!)

The only hiccup in the evening is when I got a picture message from Chris with a photo of his dinner at Fogo de Chao, where we were supposed to go with his work friends, and a text saying "fireworks! happy fourth!" like nothing in the world was different. It made me a little sad, but I got over it. I finally sent him a message on the way home that said "Please don't text me anymore." He wrote back "I'm sorry, it's hard, I'll try harder..." to which I didn't respond. Of course it's hard. It was hard to walk out, it was hard to leave my baby boy Slayer, it was hard to break habits of the past 2+ years. But I'm doing it because it's for the best and dammit, so should he.

Otherwise, however, much fun was had by all. I don't think I've laughed that hard in...well, a while. Thank you Cameron, Nathan, Crystal, Manny, Sid, Hayley (sp?), Bryce, and even the new folks Joe, Jen and...Chippie? Thanks, guys, for being the awesome people you naturally are. :)

Bored...

2008-07-04T19:45:14Z

...bored bored bored. It's the 4th of July and everyone is out partying or doing something interesting. I'm...doing laundry and reading books. I was supposed to have gone to Fogo de Chao and then to Corpus Christi to watch an amazing fireworks display over the water, but...well, that ain't happenin'. I want to go watch a movie. Hancock, maybe, or Wanted. I'll even go see Wall-E in a pinch.

Maybe I'll go by myself. Feels kinda sad, but I guess I should get used to it.

Bored.

Randomness

2008-06-09T23:20:35Z

For some strange reason I felt the compulsion to google "Two girls 1 cup." I came across the Wikipedia article and read about what it actually is. Dear god, I'm not watching THAT.

I did, however, watch some people's reactions to it, including Joe Rogan (host of Fear Factor). That alone tells me that there's no way in hell I could possibly ever even WANT to see this video.

Like I said, randomness.

Woo! Paranoid ftw

2008-06-09T08:03:38Z

Thanks, sparkedgrrl, for making me insane too... :P

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --