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So there's this spider... - Essays from the Edge [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
My Very Own God

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So there's this spider... [Aug. 24th, 2009|10:04 pm]
My Very Own God
[mood |scaredscared]

...who keeps building huge spiderwebs between the hedge in my front yard and my car. I've knocked down a couple of them, once by walking into it while taking out the trash, and once because I, you know, had to use my car. I thought the last spiderweb had been destroyed, as he built it basically on top of my car, and I drove away, thinking he would be blown away and would find another home to build spiderwebs on. But a few minutes ago I went outside, and damned if there's not another huge spiderweb directly between my car and the hedge. Seriously, it's like 2 feet across. And he's just sitting there, in the exact middle of it.

I'm not really scared of spiders. Cockroaches I hate with a vengeance; every time I see one, every molecule in my body screams "kill it kill it KILL IT!!" I'm wary of snakes, I'm not a huge fan of lizards, and I'm scared to death of wasps, bees, and large flying insects regardless of whether they're actually poisonous. (I recently freaked out because of a huge moth.) But spiders don't scare me, I just keep my distance from them and examine them curiously from about two feet away. And they eat mosquitoes, so extra bonus.

And I've gotta give it to this one. He's a tenacious little fucker, to be sure. Not very smart, as he can't manage to create a spiderweb based in a more secure location than a large metal object that moves. Daily. And he can build spiderwebs that are two feet in diameter in a matter of 2-3 hours. (Why do I assume it's a he? I should research that.)

THE POINT: If I were a religious or spiritual person who looked for the meaning in things, I think I would see this as some sort of sign: build a foundation regardless of whether the foundation is solid. Buy a house and quit bitching about the lack of stability in your life; do what you want and roll with the punches. You're strong enough, you're smart enough, and you'll figure it out as it happens, because you always do. Don't be afraid to rebuild, because while failing is scary, never trying is even scarier.

But I'm not. And at the end of the day, it's just a spider.


[User Picture]From: cowboyzydeco
2009-08-25 02:53 pm (UTC)
I can't speak to the other parts, because I'm not exactly philosophically aware myself, but I can give this one bit of advice from personal experience: Don't buy a house until you're damned sure about your career path, and that you're where you want to be for a good, long time. It's hard enough to realize that you don't like how your career is going, and to make yourself take the plunge and do something about it. Add to that the cost of a home, especially a home bought on one paycheck with no net, and it becomes considerably more difficult to change. Unless you're very fortunate, a significant career change often involves a pay cut, as you start over again at the bottom. At least if you're renting, you can always gut it out until the lease is up and downgrade to a cheaper apartment/whatever for a while. In a home? You're stuck. Especially nowadays.
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[User Picture]From: chrestomanci
2009-08-26 04:24 am (UTC)
Last time I was in Beaumont, I went to visit my grandmother. She doesn't get many visitors these days, and she was surprised (and happy) to see me. I told her about considering buying a house, and not being happy with my job, and she said "honey, don't buy a house until you're where you want to be." That really stopped me in my tracks, as I know I'm not.

The spider could be some sort of interpretive sign from a higher power, but I'll believe experience before I'll believe in that. It's just not time yet, even if the housing market is at an all-time buyer premium.

I'm not ready.

I think I'm just panicking about the whole "30 in 3 months" thing. November 22nd comes around, I hit that age bracket where you're "supposed to be" settled, mature, one with zen or some other new age hippie crap. Maybe I'm just not yet. My mom didn't have me until she was 31; fruit flies whose parents had to wait to procreate matured later and lived longer. I'm not saying I'm gonna live to 104, I'm just saying maybe I'm not quite ripe for the house orchard.

And now I'm not making any metaphorical sense. Point being: thanks for your input, and you're right. It's not time yet.
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From: lemasump
2011-04-15 02:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the information. I think that you should wash your face at least 3 to 4 times a day. You’ll be surprised how much better your face will look.

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[User Picture]From: pedantic_m
2013-04-13 07:08 pm (UTC)
I've reactivated here. Friend me if you still watch things...
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